remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
