So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
