ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
