is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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