Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
