Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
