My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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