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The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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