I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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