Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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