I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
