Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
