i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
