Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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