I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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