Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
