how hairy? two words: wookie tits
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
