I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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