Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
