Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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