Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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