exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's shark week go big or go home
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