You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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