I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
