The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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