You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
