that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize