Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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