rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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