in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
