you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
