yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
