i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The power of my boobs compel you
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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