True but thats because hes a fetus.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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