and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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