i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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