I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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