Nicole vs. Life
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
