I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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