Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i need some magic done to my vagina
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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