woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
