She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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