I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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