I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
