i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
