My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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