She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
