She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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