I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
