Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
