Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
